Friday, April 29, 2011
reddit) Kate's the cola, I guess. Remember Royal Crown cola, fellow old people? It's still around, but the two big colas bashed it into submission. Anyway, if you're one of those people who ruins whiskey/bourbon with cola, you're not allowed on this Irishman's blog. Related: Post-It®'s pathetic royal wedding billboard • Papa John's horrendous royal wedding pizza.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
(via) Barack the Mutt. He does have puppy dog eyes. PETA says they plan to run this ad in Obama's birthplace, Honolulu. Which is of course is a big, steaming pile of dog shit of a lie. FYI: Hypocrisy. Previously in bad PETA Photoshop:
• Bare Ass-vertising (nsfw).
• The Pope holding a condom.
• Pro-shark Shark Week billboard.
• Pam Anderson's lettuce leaf bikini.
(via) Last week, we saw the world's first Sperm Bank ATM. Now, via what looks like a trade show or product demo room, it's a sperm collector of some sorts. Hopefully it's only set on "slow." It could stand to be a little sexier looking. I want to know what information shows up on the screen (maybe porno clips?). Look for it in the Sharper Image catalog next Fall. Or buy one now for $2,800.
Pussy Trimming Ad of the Day (sfw).
via) I guess, ladies, to design your own landing strip, just carefully cut out the three squares, lay this graph over your nether regions, and then employ your new Quattro shaver. I don't really understand the graph‚ maybe it represents precise trimming? Created by two male creatives at JWT Paris. Previous pussy trimming ads:
• Twat the Hell?
• Hairless Beaver.
• V is for Vagina Victory.
• Maybe NSFW. Maybe SFW.
• tis the season to wax your whisker biscuit.
Previous terrible ad agency self-promo ads:
• Y&R NYC (assholes).
• DDB Canada (BIG TITS).
• Strawberry Frog (shut-up).
• The Gate (fucking horrible).
• Ungar Group (shooting a kitten).
• BBDO Germany (gang signs, yo).
• Jung von Matt (overwritten bullshit).
• Woonky ("idea" ransom note).
(via) Previously, we've seen an Italian print ad with an interracial chocolate French kiss, and a Kiwi TV spot with wet nude interracial chocolate love. Now: Australia has taken chocolate Full Porno. Chocolate cum. Ejaculated onto sensuous full lips, onto eager tongues, onto taut stomachs, and then lovingly licked up. Video below. Ad agency: KC Entertainment Group, Australia.
Related: Israeli model wins sucking contest, swallows white goo.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Link Haze, 4/27/11.
• Hilarious (via).
• He was a large man.
• Bleached sock Jesus.
• QR codes put to good use.
• Here's your new Aflac duck.
• Drawings from the Soviet Gulag.
• Caps win the Cup, depicted as a medieval painting.
• 25 cool abandoned Yugoslavian monuments (above).
• copyranter endorses this children's book 1000% (via).
• 14 never-captured serial killers and their scary media-created names.
• Videos of the Day: This 1-and-a-half year old boy is a better soccer player
than you; and Extreme Ironing!
(via copyranter's anonymous tipline)
Doctor: Mr. Suarez, he's OK.
Kid: Dad, it didn't hurt!
Dad: I told you you can do it. You're a big boy already!
Kid: I didn't even cry!
VO: Because he's already a big boy, he can now eat Sweet & Spicy Lucky Me! Pancit Canton. It has the right blend and the right amount of spice that we enjoy.
Dad: Oh, can you handle it?
Kid (lowering voice): I can!
Previously: Clever tear-off phone number street ad for penis circumcision.
via) It's via London, for the upcoming Battles release Gloss Drop, due out on June 5th. The smarties at Creative Review say it looks like "flouro pink blancmange, possibly squeezed from a tube." Uh, OK. It is a very cool cover image—maybe they're going to add copy to the board as the release date nears? I, being a drummer, like Battles. Previously: Can you guess what this butt billboard is selling?
(click images, via) Sigh. Yes, this is a real (stupid) ambient street ad for 120-calorie Cup Noodle, via South Korea. I guess the idea is that her skirt fell off because she lost weight on her noodle diet? Note the fake noodle (DICK) in her mouth. Ad agency: Adrich, Seoul. Previously: ridiculous ambient ad roundup.
A commercial with a man having his crotch licked by a German Shepherd, and his dick lightly punched.
(via MTLB) I'm assuming that our 4th Amendment hero here was wearing protective gear. Hey, it's a Product Hero spot. EVERY marketing dickhead creams his/her khakis/panties when shown those. This is the extended version of a commercial (minis the dog) currently airing during NHL playoff game telecasts. Ad agency: unknown.
Previously: In France, Stihl markets its trimmers to peeping perverts.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Work That Matters) Let my peepee show (snicker). The ad was summarily rejected by the Toronto Transit Commission. Probably a bunch of Commandment-breaking goyim. Related: Parting of the Red Sea recreated to sell Dulcolax laxative.
via) I have nothing to say about this unauthorized appropriation of the Greatest Love Story Of Our Time.
Ad agency: Ogilvy Action, London. Previously: The Papa John's Royal Wedding pizza is a fucking abomination.
note: And yes, how long do Post-It notes stick? A month? Six months?
(click images) Today is the 25th anniversary of the disaster. So, three FEMEN racktivists entered the 30-kilometer danger zone near the ex-plant to blast the "peaceful atom," and to express "deep admiration for the heroic actions of the liquidators of the Chernobyl disaster and Fukushima." They've altered their logo on one of the signs, for some reason. More NSFW photos here. Here's video (nsfw) from Kiev last week of the group's first Chernobyl protest and subsequent arrests.
Fight the power, etc.
(click ad) My previous favorites, via Germany, here. The ad is part of a campaign from late last year, via Russia. It's resurfacing this week because it just won a Grand Prix at the Golden Drum awards. I'm instantly a child again. Probable Gold Lion winner at Cannes in June. Ad agency: Leo Burnett, Moscow. Related: the first campaign I did 2nd week at SVA was for Lego. Here're the ads. Mock them at will.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Link Haze, 4/25/11.
• Smart tattoo, ace.
• Gain, what is this?
• gif for Fargo fans.
• Old men like rough sex.
• Aquarium's rain-vertising.
• Baseball foul pole-vertising.
• Easter 1998 New Yorker cover.
• NYC street art of the day: QRST.
• Strange gif of the day (via reddit).
• Rules for golfing during the London blitz.
• Who could have guessed that the creator of Dilbert was such an asshole?
• Videos of the Day: So many Sugar Gliders! Never doubt American ingenuity.
And, this woman has the most talented tongue ever.
(via MultiCultClassics) The 90-year-old Spanish fashion and jewelry design house loves their iconic bear. Via Wikipedia: "Over the years, it has become a lucky charm for millions of people all over the world," said Tous's creative director Rosa Oriol. I call implants on titty bear. Previously in: unintentional titty graphic design.
(click ads, via) Very hard choice.
Left: a real scene that happened aboard a WWI army transport, gay-fully recreated. The hosing is particularly fun. Right: You got the guy behind the guy's behind; you got the guys staring at the other guys' behinds. And what's with the guy in the left stall with his hands behind his behind? Modest? Or receiving oral?
Previous homoerotically-charged vintage ads: Schlitz • Scandals skivvies.
(click images) According to adme.ru, this was a real accident, not a stunt scene created by the advertiser. The incident occurred this past winter in the city of Tomsk. The copy translates roughly to "Speed must be reasonable." Looks like it could be legit—in which case, it's fucking hilarious (assuming the driver wasn't seriously injured)—but I'm skeptical.
Previously: bloody hilarious don't drink/drive Russian billboard.
(click images, via reddit) A "redditor" got bored because reddit was down last week. His (I'm guessing this was done by a male, maybe with Asperger's) friend was away for the weekend. So he covered everything EVERYTHING in foil. You'll notice he even labeled the goddamn books with marker. See more pics here. Besides the further decline of Western civilization, the main thought in my head is: all the people shopping for aluminum foil in his neighborhood were SOOL.
story with video)—was "published by the Subaru dealership in Israel." The copy translates: "Let’s see who will stand in your way." Subaru condemned the ad, saying they have no link to it, and that they have no idea who created it.
Welcome to the increasingly despicable digital age (via adland).
Previous heinous fake ads:
• SC Johnson's eye vagina ad.
• Dutch ad students mock Japanese disaster.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
via) Jesus! Today, Good fucking Friday, is the deadline for entries for the Cannes Lions International Festivity of Ass-Kissing and Reacharounds, June 19-25, the holiest week of the advert calendar. So. I am "never gonna be entirely happy" because I've never won a Lion, and almost certainly never will (Our small agency has never entered work in Cannes—the fees are ridiculous. And I suck.).
Poll time! Which ad awards ad is the most pathetic:
• This one (by artplan in Rio).
• This ANDYs anilingus ad.
• This heinous CLIOs ad (my vote).
• These "Young Guns" ads with trophies fucking.
• Or this Cannes ad made from creatives' bodily fluids.
reddit) Self check-out, alright. She saved 12 cents on the two cucumbers (DP action? Or just two different sizes?). Those must be some cheap-ass thong panties. Walmart tagline: Save Money. Live Better. Hello Mesquite, Texas. Related: Guess what the single bestselling Walmart item was last year.
Warning! Lots of ear-piercing shrieking (and bOObs)! You've seen the hott action photos! Now see the hottter action video, where Kiev policemen used "brute physical force!" Head racktivist, Alexandra Shevchenko, was just released from detention today. To soothe her pain, fellow FEMENs met her "with flowers, balloons, and a cake." Anarchism is order, government is chaos! (via).
Thursday, April 21, 2011
(via) Redds is a disgusting fruit-flavored beer. This spot, by ad agency bazina.sass, had to be edited down to :20 for Russian federal TV, apparently because of the juicy vagina imagery, those two fruit balls, and the phallic ice penetrations. But! All advertising in post-Soviet Russia is SEX (nsfw)! Note: Absolut vodka is also quite intimate with the pussy fruit ad imagery.
Will it have any effect whatsoever on America's teenage wasteland? Of course not, except maybe to get more adults hankering to blow doob. In fact that big J makes me want to take a walk this morning to Washington Square Park and, uh, visit the dog run. Ad agency: Publicis. Previously anti-drug ads:
• Montana—Meth whore!
• Russia—kids eating feces.
• The UK—geezer junkies!
• Australia—fake snuff video.
(click ad, via eater) You may heard that the Alabama law firm suing the Bell over the beef content in its tacos dropped its suit. The shit-food slinger promptly placed this full-page na-na-na-na na na ad in yesterday's Wall Street Journal, NY Times, and LA Times. Hopefully, you haven't lost too many of your 35 million heart-healthy customers, TB.
Ad agency: DraftFCB.
Previously in: bullshit fast food ads.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
• Happy Easter, Zombies.
• Fairly humorous Stihl spot.
• Doorway owl is never satisfied.
• Whiskey dick cured by Viagra beer?
• Motorcycle made from watch parts.
• Toyota does umbilical cord-vertising.
• No, Obama haters aren't racist at all.
• Lost in translation Chinese businesses.
• Where was this Slurpee technology when I was a kid?
• Unzip your pants, frat boys, here's your 2011 St. Pauli Girl.
• Videos of the Day: this optimistic kid is the anti-copyranter;
and a Chinese man lives the dream of driving bumper cars in traffic.
(click ad, via) Veganism won't get you that body, but Photoshop will. I'd never heard of Bonnie-Jill fucking Laflin before I saw this ad, but you can read all about her here. I did, and found out that I had actually posted a previous PETA ad with her in it, topless. Thus concludes this week's update on PETA's junior high school-level advertising.
See more here and here.
(click images via Copenhagenize) It's not just a mobile billboard for the European Sperm Bank; it's a sample transportation vehicle (ew). That's CEO Peter Bower (left) delivering frozen splooge to fertility clinics. Do they take street donations?
It's Sperm Bank Week on copyranter!
Previously in Sperm: sperm clinic jizz bag • sperm jeans.
"Mom, I'm going disco dancing."
"Not dressed like that, missy!"
"How bout if I put on some tube socks?"
Old Spice introduces the white Isaiah Mustafa?
New brand extension, new spokes-stud, I guess. Dangerous move, W&K. Of course, the agency did let Raven Ray Lewis briefly fly in Mustafa's saddle. Note: Our hero is, ultimately, physically incapable of boning the babe. Note #2: Sorry Mustafa fans, I still prefer these two hilarious Old Spice commercials from 2008.
click image) At least if you're not a baseball fan, that's what it looks like. ChiSox fans will recognize this image of pitcher Mark Buehrle as a still from, what some have called, the most amazing play ever (video). The rest of you viewing that image, combined with the team's tagline, are maybe thinking Buehrle should dash to the clubhouse and grab some lube. Thanks to Chicago writer Scott Kenemore for the photo.
Related: seven anal sex/lube ads.