Friday, April 29, 2011

Re-post: The most powerful domestic violence awareness ad I've ever seen.

OK, I'm done trolling reddit for the day. I'm re-posting this because it just won 2 Gold Cubes at the 90th ADC awards. Read my original post here. It deserves every award it's going to win this spring/summer. Ad agency: Y&R Chicago.

Photoshopped Tongue of the Day.

(click image, via reddit)
Previously in: Photoshopped tongue.

License Plate of the Day.

(click image, via reddit)
Mrs. Hart or Mr. Shart?


(click image) Taken on the Georgia Tech campus, according to the redditor. Makes for a nice WWF ad. Previously.


(click, via reddit) Headline stolen from reddit. In fact, until further notice, everything today will be nipped from reddit. By Friday, I hate advertising so much, I can't even write about hating advertising. Previously: Inception Cat.

The Real Royal Wedding.

(click ad, via reddit) Kate's the cola, I guess. Remember Royal Crown cola, fellow old people? It's still around, but the two big colas bashed it into submission. Anyway, if you're one of those people who ruins whiskey/bourbon with cola, you're not allowed on this Irishman's blog. Related: Post-It®'s pathetic royal wedding billboard • Papa John's horrendous royal wedding pizza.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

PETA brings their expert Photoshop skills to bear on the Obama Birther issue.

(via) Barack the Mutt. He does have puppy dog eyes. PETA says they plan to run this ad in Obama's birthplace, Honolulu. Which is of course is a big, steaming pile of dog shit of a lie. FYI: Hypocrisy. Previously in bad PETA Photoshop:
Bare Ass-vertising (nsfw).
• The Pope holding a condom.
• Pro-shark Shark Week billboard.
• Pam Anderson's lettuce leaf bikini.

Sperm Retrieval Machine via China.

(via) Last week, we saw the world's first Sperm Bank ATM. Now, via what looks like a trade show or product demo room, it's a sperm collector of some sorts. Hopefully it's only set on "slow." It could stand to be a little sexier looking. I want to know what information shows up on the screen (maybe porno clips?). Look for it in the Sharper Image catalog next Fall. Or buy one now for $2,800.

Pussy Trimming Ad of the Day (sfw).

(click ad, via) I guess, ladies, to design your own landing strip, just carefully cut out the three squares, lay this graph over your nether regions, and then employ your new Quattro shaver. I don't really understand the graph‚ maybe it represents precise trimming? Created by two male creatives at JWT Paris. Previous pussy trimming ads:
Twat the Hell?
Hairless Beaver.
V is for Vagina Victory.
Maybe NSFW. Maybe SFW.
tis the season to wax your whisker biscuit.

Inane, disgusting ad agency self-promo ads of the day.

(click image) Puke Shit Snot & Jizz. That would be a good name for an ad agency. Better than smashLAB (from Vancouver). Your creative "comes from within?" That's some point of differentiation. Ads are from 2005. Maybe they've learned how to do advertising since then.
Previous terrible ad agency self-promo ads:
Y&R NYC (assholes).
DDB Canada (BIG TITS).
 • Strawberry Frog (shut-up).
The Gate (fucking horrible).
Ungar Group (shooting a kitten).
BBDO Germany (gang signs, yo).
Jung von Matt (overwritten bullshit).
Woonky ("idea" ransom note).

ebay bargain of the day.

(click image, via reddit) Alas, the auction is over. I searched for Eric The Half A Bee, but also came up empty. OK, beegone. Related: 100,000 live bees billboard. Related: lightweight IBM ThinkPad lifted by 1,000 bees.

TV spot: Chocolate = Semen.

(via) Previously, we've seen an Italian print ad with an interracial chocolate French kiss, and a Kiwi TV spot with wet nude interracial chocolate love. Now: Australia has taken chocolate Full Porno. Chocolate cum. Ejaculated onto sensuous full lips, onto eager tongues, onto taut stomachs, and then lovingly licked up. Video below. Ad agency: KC Entertainment Group, Australia.
Related: Israeli model wins sucking contest, swallows white goo.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Butcher Shop Tagline of the Day.

(click image, via Cali, via reddit)
Related: Dickman's Meat of Tucson, AZ.

Link Haze, 4/27/11.

Hilarious (via).
• He was a large man.
• Bleached sock Jesus.
• QR codes put to good use.
• Here's your new Aflac duck.
Drawings from the Soviet Gulag.
• Caps win the Cup, depicted as a medieval painting.
• 25 cool abandoned Yugoslavian monuments (above).
• copyranter endorses this children's book 1000% (via).
• 14 never-captured serial killers and their scary media-created names.
Videos of the Day: This 1-and-a-half year old boy is a better soccer player
than you; and Extreme Ironing!

Filipino Ad Watch: Boy gets circumcised, stares at penis, eats spicy noodles.

(via copyranter's anonymous tipline)
Doctor: Mr. Suarez, he's OK.
Kid: Dad, it didn't hurt!
Dad: I told you you can do it. You're a big boy already!
Kid: I didn't even cry!
VO: Because he's already a big boy, he can now eat Sweet & Spicy Lucky Me! Pancit Canton. It has the right blend and the right amount of spice that we enjoy.
Dad: Oh, can you handle it?
Kid (lowering voice): I can!
Previously: Clever tear-off phone number street ad for penis circumcision.

Can you guess what this billboard is advertising?

(click image, via) It's via London, for the upcoming Battles release Gloss Drop, due out on June 5th. The smarties at Creative Review say it looks like "flouro pink blancmange, possibly squeezed from a tube." Uh, OK. It is a very cool cover image—maybe they're going to add copy to the board as the release date nears? I, being a drummer, like Battles. Previously: Can you guess what this butt billboard is selling?

Fake woman drops real skirt in public.

(click images, via) Sigh. Yes, this is a real (stupid) ambient street ad for 120-calorie Cup Noodle, via South Korea. I guess the idea is that her skirt fell off because she lost weight on her noodle diet? Note the fake noodle (DICK) in her mouth. Ad agency: Adrich, Seoul. Previously: ridiculous ambient ad roundup.

A commercial with a man having his crotch licked by a German Shepherd, and his dick lightly punched.

(via MTLB) I'm assuming that our 4th Amendment hero here was wearing protective gear. Hey, it's a Product Hero spot. EVERY marketing dickhead creams his/her khakis/panties when shown those. This is the extended version of a commercial (minis the dog) currently airing during NHL playoff game telecasts. Ad agency: unknown.
Previously: In France, Stihl markets its trimmers to peeping perverts.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Moses parts his robe and flashes the paparazzi for the Toronto Jewish Film Festival.

(click ad, via Work That Matters) Let my peepee show (snicker). The ad was summarily rejected by the Toronto Transit Commission. Probably a bunch of Commandment-breaking goyim. Related: Parting of the Red Sea recreated to sell Dulcolax laxative.

The quintessential "this isn't going to end well" porn set photo (sfw).

(click image, via reddit) If you so desire, sick perv, the video link is available at the reddit link. Nice painting. Previously: How to make a porno—a flow chart.

Post-it® erects shameless Will & Kate London billboard.

(click image, via) I have nothing to say about this unauthorized appropriation of the Greatest Love Story Of Our Time.
Ad agency: Ogilvy Action, London. Previously: The Papa John's Royal Wedding pizza is a fucking abomination.
note: And yes, how long do Post-It notes stick? A month? Six months?

FEMEN again protest Chernobyl—with gas masks, fuck-me boots, and atomic panties (nsfw).

(click images) Today is the 25th anniversary of the disaster. So, three FEMEN racktivists entered the 30-kilometer danger zone near the ex-plant to blast the "peaceful atom," and to express "deep admiration for the heroic actions of the liquidators of the Chernobyl disaster and Fukushima." They've altered their logo on one of the signs, for some reason. More NSFW photos here. Here's video (nsfw) from Kiev last week of the group's first Chernobyl protest and subsequent arrests.
Fight the power, etc.

No wait, THIS is my favorite Lego ad of all time.

(click ad) My previous favorites, via Germany, here. The ad is part of a campaign from late last year, via Russia. It's resurfacing this week because it just won a Grand Prix at the Golden Drum awards. I'm instantly a child again. Probable Gold Lion winner at Cannes in June. Ad agency: Leo Burnett, Moscow. Related: the first campaign I did 2nd week at SVA was for Lego. Here're the ads. Mock them at will.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Link Haze, 4/25/11.

• Smart tattoo, ace.
• Gain, what is this?
gif for Fargo fans.
• Old men like rough sex.
• Aquarium's rain-vertising.
• Baseball foul pole-vertising.
• Easter 1998 New Yorker cover.
• NYC street art of the day: QRST.
• Strange gif of the day (via reddit).
Rules for golfing during the London blitz.
• Who could have guessed that the creator of Dilbert was such an asshole?
Videos of the Day: So many Sugar Gliders! Never doubt American ingenuity.
And, this woman has the most talented tongue ever.

Reebok introduces Dr. "Betty Bottoms," the ass doctor.

(via) God, this is fucking horrible. Horrible idea. Horrible script. Horrible acting. Horrible directing. Only question: why didn't Reebok's brand ambASSador Kelly Brook get this gig? Ad agency: McCann India. Previously: German Reetone TV ad features the most ass/least face ever in a commercial.

Today in unfortunate sexual logos.

(via MultiCultClassics) The 90-year-old Spanish fashion and jewelry design house loves their iconic bear. Via Wikipedia: "Over the years, it has become a lucky charm for millions of people all over the world," said Tous's creative director Rosa Oriol. I call implants on titty bear. Previously in: unintentional titty graphic design.

Which of these vintage Ivory Soap ads is the most homo-erotically-charged?

(click ads, via) Very hard choice.
Left: a real scene that happened aboard a WWI army transport, gay-fully recreated. The hosing is particularly fun. Right: You got the guy behind the guy's behind; you got the guys staring at the other guys' behinds. And what's with the guy in the left stall with his hands behind his behind? Modest? Or receiving oral?
Previous homoerotically-charged vintage ads: SchlitzScandals skivvies.

Russian "drive safely" billboard crashed into by unsafe driver.

(click images) According to, this was a real accident, not a stunt scene created by the advertiser. The incident occurred this past winter in the city of Tomsk. The copy translates roughly to "Speed must be reasonable." Looks like it could be legit—in which case, it's fucking hilarious (assuming the driver wasn't seriously injured)—but I'm skeptical.
Previously: bloody hilarious don't drink/drive Russian billboard.

A room totally aluminum-foiled—one of the most ridiculous things you'll ever see.

(click images, via reddit) A "redditor" got bored because reddit was down last week. His (I'm guessing this was done by a male, maybe with Asperger's) friend was away for the weekend. So he covered everything EVERYTHING in foil. You'll notice he even labeled the goddamn books with marker. See more pics here. Besides the further decline of Western civilization, the main thought in my head is: all the people shopping for aluminum foil in his neighborhood were SOOL.

Heinous Israeli Subaru ad showing Palestinian children being run over... a fake. But the Occupied Palestine blog reported that the ad—which depicts a real incident that took place last October in East Jerusalem (story with video)—was "published by the Subaru dealership in Israel." The copy translates: "Let’s see who will stand in your way." Subaru condemned the ad, saying they have no link to it, and that they have no idea who created it.
Welcome to the increasingly despicable digital age (via adland).
Previous heinous fake ads:
• SC Johnson's eye vagina ad.
• Dutch ad students mock Japanese disaster.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter.

(via reddit)
Peter Rottentail.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Epically horrific/fantastic vintage shirt ad of the week.

(click ad, via) Now that's a layout. And whut a pun! Note: h.i.s. was the 1970s bad pun leader (check out these two hilarious men's slacks ads—one, two). Previous epic 1970s shirt ads:
shirt, sideburns, sexy indifference.
his shirt fucks better than your shirt.

What's the worst thing you could name a software shop?

(click image, via)
I just bought some Herpes® condoms.
Related: the worst software ad ever.
Related: Windows Vista toilet paper.
Are you off today?
I fucking hate you (more).

This one ad sums up just how fucking depressingly pathetic the ad industry is.

(click ad, via) Jesus! Today, Good fucking Friday, is the deadline for entries for the Cannes Lions International Festivity of Ass-Kissing and Reacharounds, June 19-25, the holiest week of the advert calendar. So. I am "never gonna be entirely happy" because I've never won a Lion, and almost certainly never will (Our small agency has never entered work in Cannes—the fees are ridiculous. And I suck.).
Poll time! Which ad awards ad is the most pathetic:
• This one (by artplan in Rio).
• This ANDYs anilingus ad.
• This heinous CLIOs ad (my vote).
• These "Young Guns" ads with trophies fucking.
• Or this Cannes ad made from creatives' bodily fluids.

Walmart Receipt of the Week.

(click image, via reddit) Self check-out, alright. She saved 12 cents on the two cucumbers (DP action? Or just two different sizes?). Those must be some cheap-ass thong panties. Walmart tagline: Save Money. Live Better. Hello Mesquite, Texas. Related: Guess what the single bestselling Walmart item was last year.

Video of the FEMEN Chernobyl protest and arrests.

Warning! Lots of ear-piercing shrieking (and bOObs)! You've seen the hott action photos! Now see the hottter action video, where Kiev policemen used "brute physical force!" Head racktivist, Alexandra Shevchenko, was just released from detention today. To soothe her pain, fellow FEMENs met her "with flowers, balloons, and a cake." Anarchism is order, government is chaos! (via).

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Russian Ad Watch: beer commercial banned for being too sexxxy.

(via) Redds is a disgusting fruit-flavored beer. This spot, by ad agency bazina.sass, had to be edited down to :20 for Russian federal TV, apparently because of the juicy vagina imagery, those two fruit balls, and the phallic ice penetrations. But! All advertising in post-Soviet Russia is SEX (nsfw)! Note: Absolut vodka is also quite intimate with the pussy fruit ad imagery.

The biggest fatty ever in an anti-drugs commercial.

Will it have any effect whatsoever on America's teenage wasteland? Of course not, except maybe to get more adults hankering to blow doob. In fact that big J makes me want to take a walk this morning to Washington Square Park and, uh, visit the dog run. Ad agency: Publicis. Previously anti-drug ads:
• Montana—Meth whore!
• Russia—kids eating feces.
• The UK—geezer junkies!
• Australia—fake snuff video.

Another 3-D dead man unsafe driving billboard.

(click image, via) This one, via the New Mexico Department of Transportation, just won an OBIE Award. Last Christmas, we saw the same idea in Russia warning against drunk driving—though that billboard was much more amateurish and bloodier. There are no original ad ideas, ad infinitum.

Taco Bell: You really shouldn't have put the word "kill" in your "beef" ad.

(click ad, via eater) You may heard that the Alabama law firm suing the Bell over the beef content in its tacos dropped its suit. The shit-food slinger promptly placed this full-page na-na-na-na na na ad in yesterday's Wall Street Journal, NY Times, and LA Times. Hopefully, you haven't lost too many of your 35 million heart-healthy customers, TB.
Ad agency: DraftFCB.
Previously in: bullshit fast food ads.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Link Haze, 4/20/11.

• Happy Easter, Zombies.
• Fairly humorous Stihl spot.
• Doorway owl is never satisfied.
• Whiskey dick cured by Viagra beer?
Motorcycle made from watch parts.
• Toyota does umbilical cord-vertising.
• No, Obama haters aren't racist at all.
• Lost in translation Chinese businesses.
• Where was this Slurpee technology when I was a kid?
• Unzip your pants, frat boys, here's your 2011 St. Pauli Girl.
Videos of the Day: this optimistic kid is the anti-copyranter;
and a Chinese man lives the dream of driving bumper cars in traffic.

PETA does Bare Ass-vertising (nsfw).

(click ad, via) Veganism won't get you that body, but Photoshop will. I'd never heard of Bonnie-Jill fucking Laflin before I saw this ad, but you can read all about her here. I did, and found out that I had actually posted a previous PETA ad with her in it, topless. Thus concludes this week's update on PETA's junior high school-level advertising.
See more here and here.

The Sperm Bike of Copenhagen (must see).

(click images via Copenhagenize) It's not just a mobile billboard for the European Sperm Bank; it's a sample transportation vehicle (ew). That's CEO Peter Bower (left) delivering frozen splooge to fertility clinics. Do they take street donations?
It's Sperm Bank Week on copyranter!
Previously in Sperm: sperm clinic jizz bagsperm jeans.

American Apparel Ad Watch: disco sucks (nipples).

(click ad)
"Mom, I'm going disco dancing."
"Not dressed like that, missy!"
"How bout if I put on some tube socks?"
Previously (nsfw).

Old Spice introduces the white Isaiah Mustafa?

New brand extension, new spokes-stud, I guess. Dangerous move, W&K. Of course, the agency did let Raven Ray Lewis briefly fly in Mustafa's saddle. Note: Our hero is, ultimately, physically incapable of boning the babe. Note #2: Sorry Mustafa fans, I still prefer these two hilarious Old Spice commercials from 2008.

Chicago White Sox billboard promotes anal sex.

(click image) At least if you're not a baseball fan, that's what it looks like. ChiSox fans will recognize this image of pitcher Mark Buehrle as a still from, what some have called, the most amazing play ever (video). The rest of you viewing that image, combined with the team's tagline, are maybe thinking Buehrle should dash to the clubhouse and grab some lube. Thanks to Chicago writer Scott Kenemore for the photo.
Related: seven anal sex/lube ads.

Inception Cat.

(via reddit) If you didn't see the movie, sorry. Actually if you saw the movie, sorry. What a spool of fucking hooey.